Chlorine, Chlorine, Chlorine, Chlorine
Please purify every single last dram
Fluorine, Fluorine, Fluorine, Fluorine
I'm begging of you, bind to all that you can

Your diatoms a slender pair
And cations supremely rare
Turn my water to that yellow-green
And azure blue in every pool I've lain
Your perfume drives everyone insane
Make my water germ-free too
Chlorine

He grinds his teeth now in his sleep
There's no place cavities don't creep
I'm crying when he calls in pain
Fluorine

And I can easily understand
The government's nefarious plan
To keep our mouths from rotting out
Fluorine

Chlorine, Chlorine, Chlorine, Chlorine
Bind each and every peptidoglycan
Fluorine, Fluorine, Fluorine, Fluorine
End the shooting pain in my brain pan

You could have any atom, sure
But to mankind you are a cure
Save my oral hygiene please
Fluorine

I had to eulogize for you
Our public health depends on you
Keeping our water nice and clean
Chlorine

Chlorine, Chlorine, Chlorine, Chlorine
The princess of the halogen clan
Fluorine, Fluorine, Fluorine, Fluorine
The great ionic chemical bogeyman