This is a list of all known Hatelese Commonwealth ships that have visited the Thessian brane. Some ships may have visited more than once. Like certain Lyran ships, many of the ships' names depend on wordplay or literary references in Classical English and may not make sense to the modern reader. See also Hatel ship classes.

Why Be A Man When You Can Be A Success

Marginally Better Than Exploding

Occam's Shaving Kit

Who Ordered The Protons

Beep Beep Beep, Beep Beep Beep

One Thousand and Twenty-Four Chickens

Non-Determinism Means Never Having To Say You're Wrong

Placeholder Antagonist

Paved With Good Intentions

Doing It Wrong

Hungry Politics

Disappointing But Affordable

Where There's A Whip, There's A Way

Don't Be That Guy

That Guy

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

Trouble Magnet

It Wasn't Me I Swear

Harder, Mommy

Comfortable Distance

No, Really, I'm Fine

At Least You Tried

I've Had Better

Zone of Eternal Friendship

Wallflower

Please Remain Seated

You Call That A Threat?

Bluffing Is Just My Way Of Working Up Courage

Autoerotic Apostasy

That's Not How You Eat It

Empty Promises

Not As Interesting As Previously Thought

Three-Letter Acronym

Not Actually For Opening Letters

Face-Blast First, Mind-Probe Later

Nobody Said It Was Illegal Here

The Boner Garage

Not A Virgin

Fist Of God

Catharsis

Metaphorgotten

No Money Down

Natural One

Sticker Shock

Chinese Whispers

Rinse Cycle

Correctly Incorrect

Wrong Answer

Preemption Protector

Preemption Protector Protector

Fraudulent Fred

Worse For The Wear

It's All Ogre

Keep Off The Grass

Mixed Reviews

Feed Your Head

Do Not Look Into Beam With Remaining Eye

Teachable Moment

Peer Review

Plank Time

Bonus Symptoms

Regrettably Large Head

Slavery With Extra Steps

History Exam Revisionism

Good Fun For A Hermit

The Wrong Conceptual Horse

Well, I Didn't Vote For You

Planned Obsolescence

Premium Experience

Doctor Mbogo

Magic Smoke

Write-Only Memory

Bucket Of Bits

Dirty Limerick

Roach Motel

Poor Choice Of Words

Price Check

Why Don't We Do It In The Road

Everybody's Got Something To Hide (Except For Me And My Monkey)

Dsmvwld

What About The Glands

Press Pass

Adipose Rex

Freudian Cigar

Intolerable Bigot

Pollen Advisory

Fuck You, Fuck You, Fuck You

Tell Me About Your Mother

Sad Wank

Arbitrary Restrictions

Fight Me, Bro

Unlicenced Artist

Roomier Than You'd Think

Help, I Can't Feel My Legs

Good Cholesterol

Because I Said So

Early Retirement

Basically Just A Floating Wreck

Big Dumb Object

Bigger Than Zarquon

Sexy And I Know It

Self-Reference

Irritatingly Recursive Moniker

Obnoxious Ship Name

Boring But Adequate

Invalid Ship Name

Telephone Sanitizer

Best Practices

Literally Just A Ship In A Bottle

Underboob

Keyboard Cowboy

Mister The Plague

Inkblot

Predictable Punchline

Not My Specialty, Not My Problem

Duck And Cover

Nobody Asked You

The New Black

Cow Tipper

Pause And Reflect

Second-Hand Blues

Please Hold Still

Community Service

Price Of Progress

Alternative Medicine

What's With All The Pop Culture References?

Definitely A Ship

Top Ten Unbelievable Ship Names

For Progress's Sake

This End Up

Unbottled Fury

All Things Considered, We're Probably A Much Greater Threat To Ourselves Than Anything Else In The Universe, So Why Even Have That Conversation?

Particularly Safe

Mandatory Volunteer

Contents Fragile

On Parole For Good Behaviour

It Smelled Better From A Distance

Folk Remedy

Voted Best Diplomat Five Years In A Row By Warmongering Aliens

Emissary of Emesis

They Told Me I Had To Do This

Amnesty Or Amnesia

I Didn't Want That One Anyway

Asked Politely

Stop Yelling And Just Kiss Me, You Fool

Windbreaker

Viscous Cycle

Contraceptor

Unconscience

Astroturfer

Down Wind

Untitled

Antepenultimatum

Taxidermatologist

Parasolstice

Misled

Distraction

Nightlight

Clickbait

Kallisti

Hot Sauce

Not A Pyramid Scheme

Dentists Hate Her

Salutatorian

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Well Don't Blame Me

I Have Some Bad News And A Snack For You

Like and Subscribe

You May Already Be A Winner

Value Menu

Test Run

Bonus Points

Ready Or Not

Tickets Sold Out

Apparently You Know The Answer

Thou Shalt

Thou Shall Not

Surprise Mechanic

This Is What You Get For Listening To Me

Grain Of Salt

I Wasn't Being Serious

Bottom of the Barrel

Wasted Potential

Sieve of Eratosthenes

Freemartin

John of Malpais

Canard

We Now Resume Our Regular Disaster Schedule

Truculent Runt

Etaoin Shrdlu

Big Egg

The Worst One

Dictated But Not Read

Ming the Merciless

Praxis Makes Perfect

Vore The Rich

Pull My Hair

Taken For Granite

Muriatic Milkshake

Xenon Phoenix

Please Listen Carefully, As Our Menu Options Have Changed

Noise-To-Signal Ratio

Lysistrata

Spurious Connection

Intrusive Thought

Perverse Imp

Unfalsifiable

Escheresque

Dumpster-Fire Hot

Cheque Please